Been There, Done That: Got The T-Shirt

Our beloved Tex is suffering a bit I hear because he won't take rabies medication. He's finding that raw, and sometimes still alive, chicken is tasting so damn good due to the rabies symptoms that he reckons it saves him money and time cooking them, and Tex eats a whole chicken every day, has done for years. Still he's battled thru rabies before, with very detrimental effects to his health, it's true, but he seems to think he can battle thru this one and that the raw chicken blood is the key to recovery. He's quite mad, obviously. Also, the eye patch is due to the fact that his halfwit son Jimster planted a razor blade, business side out, for the purpose of shredding bark from certain types of tree logs, on a post in the garden, and Tex, stumbling around the yard one night inebriated, fell on it and cut his eye completely in half. This left him with 3/4 stereoscopy, and so whatever he looks at now he sees one and a half images of it. So when his son walks in the room, he sees the real him, 6 foot tall, and a smaller version standing next to him, exactly half his actual size. Tex is on the look out for a half glass eye, not an easy thing to find. So for now, he must continue wearing the eye patch because what he sees without is, in his words, "a mite disturbin'" Long may he run...